You know you have started your graduate course in fatherhood when your only thought while your son is vomiting into your cupped hands is “I hope that doesn’t all run off the side of the bed into my pants.” Needless to say, said hands were completely useless in holding back the volume, and only served to make a target.

And you also know that your son is turning into a young man when you say to him between heaves, “Oh, you just waited for me to come in to do this, didn’t you?”

And he laughs, sending up more sick, and finally manages, “Yeah, I was waiting for you.”

It’s been an on-going gag in our family that our eldest can only throw up sick if he has his father to do it on. It’s a whole new level of “Gag me with a spoon, maaan.”

Another lessoned learned tonight is: “Hun- I need a garbage can!” apparently sounds a lot like muffle-muffle “I need a hand!” when yelled through two walls and a bathroom door. I shall remember to yell “vomit receptacle” next time. I don’t think you can confuse that with much of anything. Although with my luck, she’ll come in to say “What?” at which point it will of course be pointless, not to mention obvious.

Fun times, fun times.